


Aftermath of S4EP12 Jim confronts Harvey - A Ficlet

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Explicit Language, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 02:13:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: Harvey threw Jim out, but Jim is a glutton for punishment and goes back to the bar. A sequel to "S4EP12 Harvey Confronts Jim - A Ficlet "





	Aftermath of S4EP12 Jim confronts Harvey - A Ficlet

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [S4EP12 Harvey Confronts Jim - A Ficlet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13852938) by [deawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites). 



> Because S4 is killing me with the Bullock/Gordon 'war on bromance'.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. All kudos, comments, suggestions and criticisms welcome.
> 
> To my wife, who doesn't know yet another fic has been dedicated to her.

Harvey had stared him down until he left the bar. His words rang in Jim’s head, loud like the tolling of cathedral bells at St. Michaels near the Gotham financial district during the holidays. Jim felt cold to the bones, his suit and overcoat no protection from the words Harvey Bullock had said to him. They had fallen like punches and Jim was reeling from them.  Harvey had told Jim that was no good at closeting secrets; and that he would never be saved until he confessed. Jim’s heartbeat sped up as tears prickled his gaze hot and sharp, like Harvey’s assurances that he hadn’t missed Jim at his side. Their friendship was all but over, only because Jim hadn’t given in and let it rot in its flailing death throes. Harvey had; Harvey didn’t want anything to do with Jim and it was all Jim’s fault.

 

Wasn’t it?

 

This time there was no circumnavigating the truth. No blame to place except upon his own shoulders. This wasn’t abandoning Barbara or failing Leslie; this was devastation at it’s core. Annihilation and the ashes of the best relationship he had ever had. The only one he had risked believing was permanent; steadfast in it’s heart and soul. Jim was wrong; so very wrong and the realization left his tongue sour and his chest anguished. Jim should have never judged Harvey for taking backhanders from Penguin. Not when he, himself had used favors from the smarmy, duplicitous, bird of a man in the past. There had been Galavan the conscious murder of another human being to stain his hands with blood. And what had Harvey done in comparison? Accidentally pulled the trigger on a costumed officer that from a distance looked like the Pyg? Harvey hadn’t killed anyone at least; put them in a wheel chair and been too cowardly to face them sure; yet he wasn’t a cold-blooded murderer.

 

Jim swayed a little upon his feet and reached out with a hand and steadied himself against the nearest parked car. He bent at the waist and vomited into the gutter. His head was spinning, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, the ghost of memories encompassing him. He had been so full of self-righteousness the night he signed the document from a few floors above that he had been promoted. Had put pen to paper right in front of Harvey’s face and then verbally castrated him for not passing out the six bullets at the bar that same night. He had admonished Harvey for being human; for weakness and cowardice that Jim had experienced himself once upon a time in the Army. Or had he forgotten those moments when he trembled with uncertainty and fear; that there was no way a human being could survive the chaos and bullets flying past him? Jim had wanted to run, nearly did but was only stopped by the falling corpse of his coms officer, pinning his legs to the ground. While something snapped within Jim enabling him to act through the moment of fear, Harvey hadn’t been as fortunate and now bore the shame of inaction upon his shoulders. Jim had crucified him for it, when all but the grace of opportunity had spared him the same weight upon his own.

 

Jim straightened his form, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and then ran his hand down his coat front. His legs felt like lead and his chest was seizing, tears blinding his gaze. Harvey had said that he didn’t miss Jim and banished him from Harvey’s side. He hadn’t said in words, yet Jim could read between the lines: Harvey was done with him. He was tearing himself free from the toxic hooks Jim had thrust inside him. It wasn’t Harvey’s behavior that had ruined their friendship, but Jim’s inability to not hold other people to the impossible standards that he set for himself. He had built Harvey up within his mind as a monolith of example, and the instant Harvey had proved to be flawed he punished the older man for it. Harvey had forgiven Jim in the past, yet this time Jim had pushed too far. Just like he inevitably did.

 

Roger had always told Jim that he was going to end up dying alone; that he was just like their emotionally unavailable mother; yet Jim refused to see any of his own characteristics within her. Roger was proving to be right; Jim was just like their estranged mother. He was narcissistic, toxic, and self-righteous to the point that if he didn’t hold everyone at arm’s length naturally, his behavior would affect the same. Jim wiped his gaze and slowly began walking once more. He found his car and pulled himself into the cab, his gaze completely obliterated by tears.  He sobbed, the first catching him off guard and then the rest flooded out of him before he could recover from the first.

 

Harvey. Harvey was gone. Harvey hated him, and Jim was the reason why.

 

Jim had lost track of all time as he wiped his snot and tear stained face upon his wool coat sleeve. He was a mess both literally and metaphorically. No wonder he couldn’t keep a relationship of any kind alive. Jim sniffed and gazed longingly back up the street to the bar. He saw a figure exit the front door, and by the physical shape of it he judged it to be Alfred. Alfred would have made a nice friend, yet Jim knew Alfred was also far too intelligent to not see through to Jim’s toxic core. He kept a polite distance and Jim had never pushed for anything more than what exchanges that organically occurred between them. He watched Alfred walk away up the street and knew that Harvey was now alone. Perhaps without an audience he could convince Harvey if not forgive him, then to consent to grant him a final chance to be the friend he should have been to him all along.

 

Begging wasn’t something that Jim was accustomed too, however he felt this situation warranted it. Clearing his throat of excess phlegm, he climbed out of the car and walked back to the bar, steps uncertain and heart nearly beating out of his throat. Jim swallowed through the taste of bile and tried to force himself to relax. He pulled at the bar door and immediately found it to be locked. A cold chill ran down his spine as he knocked. What if Harvey wouldn’t open the door? Harvey frowned upon seeing Jim through the door window and shook his head; whether to deny Jim entry or in disbelief only, Jim didn’t question as he held Harvey’s gaze through the dirty glass.

 

“Please?”

 

Harvey bowed his head and for a moment Jim lost sight of us expression, but he heard the deadbolt turn and Harvey slowly pushed the door open in indication. Jim took it the rest of the way and Harvey stepped back as Jim entered.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Didn’t we already say enough Jim?” Harvey questioned immediately getting to the crux of the matter.

 

“You did, but I didn’t say a word.”

 

Harvey sighed as if he was the long-suffering wife, cursed with a no-good husband. He rolled his gaze to the ceiling and turned away back to the bar. “Lock the door. Would ya?”

 

Jim obeyed before following Harvey. Harvey sat down upon one of the stools and reached over the counter for two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He poured liquor into each glass and handed Jim one. Jim thanked him softly and sat down on a stool opposite him, his back to the door. It felt good to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth even though the whiskey burned going down.

 

“Whatever it is you’re gonna say, I don’t want it to be whatever it is you’re hiding, Okay? I _told_ you that I wasn’t going to be your confessor. And I’m stickin’ by that.”

 

Jim nodded. “I’m not good with words.”

 

“No? _Really_?” The sarcasm leached from Harvey’s expression. “You can be when you really put your heart into it.” Harvey had experienced as such upon rare occasions.

 

Jim nodded once more and bowed his head forward. “I’ve ruined our friendship.” Jim paused and slowly raised his head to meet Harvey’s gaze. “I know it can never be what it was before; well, just _before_. But I believe it can still be **something**. And I want it to be. I have missed you Harvey; whether you believe me or not, I have. You’re my best friend,”

 

“Stop.” Harvey ordered calmly holding a palm up. When Jim immediately fell silent Harvey shook his head. “I’m not going to do this with you Jim. I’m _not_ gonna sit here and try and convince you that you’re being too hard on yourself and go around in a fucking circle with that dance. I’m sick of it; I’ve done my time; we should be past that. I’m not here to be your cheerleader or reassuring old auntie. I’m just **not**.” Harvey paused and canted his head to one side. “I don’t want to hear anymore of your self-deprecating bullshit. Tell me something real, or drink that down,” he motioned to the tumbler in Jim’s hands. “and get the fuck outta my life. I’m tired and I don’t want to play games with you anymore.” Harvey downed his drink and set the glass upon the bar, still looking at Jim to make his own decision.

 

Jim took a final swig of the whiskey and set his own glass on the bar. He felt like his life was ending, but he knew he had only one chance to tell Harvey the absolute truth. This was his ‘now or never’ moment. Jim swallowed, fear encapsulating him, yet he managed to croak out, “I _can’t_ , Harvey. My life? Does’nt work without you in it.” Jim shook his head and his gaze prickled once more with tears. “I want my best friend back and all that entails. But what I truly want? I **need** something more than just you as my friend or partner: I, I’m in love with you Har-“

 

Jim fell backwards, and off the bar stool from the side. He gazed up from the floor, nose bloodied and throbbing in pain. Stunned, he looked up at the larger male standing over him, fists clenched at his own sides.

 

“You don’t get to say _that_ to me!” Harvey roared pointing down at his ex-partner. “Not now! Not when I’ve worked to expunge you from my life! All the blood, sweat, and tears of it, no. Just _no_!” Harvey squatted at Jim’s feet, one hand on the bar stool for support, the other pointing straight at Jim’s chest in accusation. “You don’t fucking **deserve** me!”

 

Jim wet his lips and ran a hand gently underneath his nose and flinched at the contact. “I know.” He stated with tears clogging his throat. “But that doesn’t change how I feel.”

 

“How **you** feel!” Harvey spat at him. “Because yeah, it’s all about _you_ isn’t it Jim?” The demand was acidic, and Jim felt his chest constrict with immense pain. He barely felt his nose in comparison. “That’s my fault. I should have never put you first in everything. I might not be able to fix that now, but I can sure as hell refuse to ever do it again!”

 

Jim pushed himself up enough to sit up, bringing him and Harvey nearly eye level. “I’ll go.” He wasn’t certain how he was going to walk out of the bar when all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die.

 

“Now who’s the coward?” Harvey demanded coolly reaching out with a hand to prevent Jim from moving. “You think I’m gonna just let you drop a bomb like that and run off? Think that’s fair to me? Oh wait, you never considered what was best for me did you? Typical Jim Gordon. But,” Harvey paused and retracted his hand resting his wrist upon a knee. “that’s all going to change now. Because if it doesn’t? You lose me completely. No friendship; no romance; no even ‘how do ya fucking do’ on the street. Understand?”

 

Jim stared at Harvey in utter confusion for several seconds before the concept of his words started making sense. His lips parted, he was about to speak; to question but Harvey held up a finger to silence him, and Jim clamped his lips closed.

 

“You want my love? You’re going to have to work for it; woo me; say and do things that will make it clear how you feel about me and why.” Harvey lowered his hand, extended finger curling back into the others. “It’s gonna be different than with Barbara and Leslie; _you’re_ gonna be different. This time? You’re gonna put me before the job. If you can do that? Then you get everything; **me** ; our friendship; our _partnership_ ; every-fucking-thing. Got it?”

 

Jim swallowed and nodded dumbly before he was able to recover his voice. “Yes. I understand. Completely.” He couldn’t help but smile, his heartbeat pounding in his chest but this time with hope. “So, what does that mean for us now? Can I,”

 

He was silenced by Harvey’s calm interruption. “Right now? We get our asses up off the floor and I’ll go get you some ice for that nose of yours. Things gonna be swollen like a balloon come sunrise.” Jim felt giddy at the prospect of being allowed a final opportunity to make up the past to Harvey and lead him to their future. For now, he struggled to his feet, while Harvey used the bar stool to steady himself. While Jim sat down and wiped the blood from his nostrils with a cocktail napkin, Harvey put some ice in a Ziploc bag for him. Harvey came back around the side of the bar Jim was on and held out the baggie for him. “It’s not going to be a walk in the park Jim. We’ve got real damage to fix.”

 

“I’m committed.” Jim assured reaching out to touch Harvey’s hand. Harvey grunted in response and poured them both another shot of whiskey. “I mean it, Harvey.”

 

Harvey shrugged. “Prove it then. I’m sick of waiting.”

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

“No. We haven’t been out on a bona fide date; hell, properly _introduced_ even!”

 

Jim gently pushed the whiskey glass a little away from him and used the opposite hand to press the bag of ice and bar towel to his nose. “My name is James Gordon. I’m very pleased to meet you.” He held out his right hand and Harvey looked from it to Jim’s eyes. It was a few seconds before Harvey answered.

 

“Harvey Bullock. Nice to meet you Jim.” He shook Jim’s hand and Jim slid his thumb gently over the back of Harvey’s hand. He cast the older male a smile and didn’t let go until Harvey severed the contact.

 

“I realize we only know one another professionally but, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me some evening? Or perhaps out for drinks? If that makes you more comfortable.”

 

“Dinner huh?” Harvey paused in consideration and gently pat a flattened palm upon the bar top. “Aren’t you kind of busy with that new promotion and all? Doesn’t seem like you have much time to date; always on the clock, bein’ in charge as you are.”

 

Jim’s jaw tightened a little. Harvey wasn’t kidding, he was going to make Jim work for the privilege of having even just their friendship once more. He relaxed his mouth and answered, “That’s all true, but I really want to make time for you; to get to know you better. In the past my tendency has been to place work before love but, this time? I’m just not capable of that.”

 

“What makes now so, _different_?” Harvey challenged tilting his head to the right and using the corresponding elbow to push away from the bar surface, fist at the hinge of his jaw.

 

“You. You make everything in the past seem dimmed somehow. I’m in love with you Harvey. I want to be with you; for always. I hope in time you’ll see that I mean it, until then however; you’ll just have to put up with my ineptitude at flirting.”

 

Harvey regarded Jim for a few uncomfortable seconds. “So, you’re going with complete honesty versus flirtation?”

 

“I think whatever I gauge the moment to call for I’ll use.” He smiled gently at Harvey. “It doesn’t mean that I’m misleading you.”

 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He would be the judge of everything.  “Here’s the deal, I don’t work days until next week. So, you’re going to have to wait for that dinner date.”

 

“Or,” Jim stated holding up a finger and lowering the ice bag from his face to his lap. “I could take you out for breakfast instead.”

 

“You know an early morning, gourmet, breakfast place?”

 

“We might have to wait until the sun comes up, but yeah. I know a place.”

 

Harvey considered the offer. “You look like hell, Jim. I think we should wait until next week and do the whole dinner thing. I really want to see how you clean up for a date.”

 

Jim glanced downward feeling as if an opportunity was slipping through his fingers, but he agreed. “If that’s what you want, I’m perfectly happy to wait.”

 

Harvey reached for a cocktail napkin over the opposite side of the bar and took out the pen from his shirt pocket. He scribbled a phone number down upon the napkin and slid it towards Jim on the bar. “My numbers changed.”

 

Jim immediately picked up the small napkin and carefully folded it and placed it in his inner suit pocket. “May I call you more than just to arrange the date?”

 

“Set it first and then I’ll consider it.” Harvey motioned to the drink on the counter alongside of Jim’s free hand. “Drink up. Your nose won’t feel so bad a few hours from now.”

 

Jim shook his head. “Thank you for your concern but, I need to be sober. I still have to drive home.”

 

“I suppose you do. Or, you could crash at my place. The couch is pretty comfortable; so, I’ve heard.” He shrugged his left shoulder and poured some more liquor into his own tumbler. It was probably the booze talking, but Jim wasn’t about to refuse the invitation.

 

“That would be very helpful. Thank you, Harvey.” Jim picked up the glass and drained it in one swallow. Harvey emptied his glass as well, gaze never leaving Jim’s. He reached for Jim’s tumbler and placed both glasses on the opposite side of the bar.

 

“Come on then. I’m tired.” He motioned for Jim to follow him.  Jim’s brow furrowed when he realized that Harvey was attempting to lead him further back inside of the bar. Noticing his expression Harvey explained, “I live above the bar. I had to move; too many ghosts in my old place, it was too crowded.” Jim nodded with comprehension and the two men walked past the pool tables to a door marked, ‘private’ and Harvey pulled out keys to unlock it. There was a narrow staircase leading up to the next floor. At the top of the landing there was a small landing and a second door, this one Harvey also unlocked and lead Jim inside.

 

Jim instantly recognized some of the recycled furniture from Harvey’s old apartment. The roll top desk and a leather chair for one. The couch was new, and he raised an eyebrow at it with curiosity. Harvey looked from the couch to Jim and shrugged. “Like I said, ghosts.” Jim nodded in silence and took off his over coat. He rested it upon the leather chair and placed the ice back upon his nose. Harvey left him alone for about a minute as he retreated to a closet and returned with a pillow and folded blanket, these he placed on the end of the couch and said, “Bathroom’s over there,” He pointed at another door on the opposite side of the bed. “Night Jim.” With that, Harvey turned away and began getting ready for bed. Jim watched him for a few uncertain seconds before taking off his shoes and stripping off his suit jacket and tie. He began undressing, leaving all his clothing neatly upon the leather chair, and once he was down to his undershirt and boxer briefs he walked over to the couch and unfolded the blanket.

 

Jim sat on the couch and made certain the blanket was covering him before he lay down and closed his eyes. The ice was beginning to melt in the Ziploc baggie, but there was still some life within it, so Jim kept it pressed to his nose. The numbing sting felt preferable to the throbbing pain, and Jim closed his eyes. He listened to Harvey go through his nightly routine and finally climb into his bed. He heard the light shut off and Jim finally began to relax by degrees. The scent of Harvey was everywhere and the comfortable embrace of it soothed Jim in a way that he hadn’t felt in weeks. At peace finally, he drifted off to sleep. Several hours later Harvey gently shook him to wake him up. The ice was completely melted, and the Ziploc bag and towel had fallen to the floor.

 

“Jim? C’mon man. Wake up. You’re late for work.”

 

Jim grunted and opened his eyes to see Harvey bent at the waist addressing him. He experienced a jolt of panic and scrambled to sit up. “Thanks Harvey.” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and realized that his nose was swollen and in agony. He felt like something had crawled into his mouth and died during the night, and he figured he must look a mess. It didn’t take him long to get dressed and for Harvey to walk him back down the stairs to the front entrance of the bar. There was no offer of breakfast or coffee so Jim didn’t ask for either. He walked back up the sidewalk to his car as if he were in a dream and couldn’t quite believe that he had slept upon Harvey’s couch for a few hours. It had been so long since he had been surrounded by the man, and his heart ached over the loss of it. He was going to need to take things exceedingly slow, but he was willing if that’s what Harvey required.

 

Their first date Jim had received a handshake good night. Their second date he got a hug, and the third date he finally got his first kiss. It was sweet and simple, he didn’t push for too much tongue wanting it to be more chaste in demonstration of his self-control. By their six date he was invited inside for coffee and the two men talked into the small hours of the night. Once more Jim slept upon Harvey’s new couch and left in the morning, this time with a travel mug full of coffee in his hand. By their tenth date not only was Jim asked up for coffee, but he was treated to a make out session on the couch. They alternated between kissing and talking. This time Jim was not offered to stay the night on the couch and went home with a hardon and diminished hope. On their thirtieth date Jim was fortunate enough to be permitted to grope Harvey between the legs, and by the nineteenth date, he was able to do so but hand on bare skin. The twenty-first date he was greenlighted to perform oral sex on Harvey, and by their twenty-sixth date they made love for the first time. In the morning the tenderness was replaced by mindless, impassioned, rutting, but by their second round of it they slipped back into a more respectful and controlled physicality.

 

True to his declaration, Harvey put Jim through his paces and work for their relationship. Yet in the end, they were beyond best friends, brothers and working partners; they were lovers and soulmates. Harvey even believed Jim when he professed to be in their relationship for the long haul and spoke of ‘forever’. Harvey had finally gotten his desires fulfilled, and in doing so, Jim had his own quenched as well. Jim was no longer isolated and lonely; he had a life worth living and a person to share in it with him. Jim had never been happy often in his life yet loving Harvey and building a life together with him, Jim could barely remember what it was like to be anything but happy within his personal life. The two bickered, fought, and disagreed at times, yet in the end they managed to find a compromise and work through their issues.  It was occasionally a hard road, but one that Jim had far more joy walking then if he had refused to rise to Harvey’s demands that night.


End file.
